Corrupt-A-Wish!

First topic message reminder :

This is a fun one that I have played on other forums; we'll see if it gains ground here. Simply make a wish... and watch it go places you never intended!

Example:

" I wish I lived in the tri-state area."

"Granted! You now live between Indiana, Kentucky, and Ohio. Have fun in Cincinatti!"

Do we all understand? Let's begin the madness!

I wish I didn't have to go to Spainsh tomorrow.

Granted! Then they burst into flames and burn down your house when your asleep, burning all of your most prized posessions and organs. You could still probably donate your body to science.

I wish my family would stop watching that old show "Emergency!" and watch something recent for a while. I would even make an acception to SpongeBob since my family loves it.

Granted, they get rid of your TV.

I wish I was exempt from final exams.

Granted! Now you're exempted off the face of the Earth.

I wish I could die.

(my friend did that.)

Granted. You get to die the most torturous, painful death the human mind can possibly comprehend. Congrats.

I wish I knew exactly what my friend's mother was planning for my birthday (judging by some of her comments so far, I have a right to be scared).

Granted! But it's so horrifying that your eyes melt and you scream for so long that your voice box burns out. Poor vocal cords.

I wish time zones didn't mess up my long distance relationship with my online friends.

Seriously, one of them is in Vietnam and the only time I talk to her is when we're both awake and it's 2:30 A.M. here and 2:30 P.M. there. I stay up late, yes. We could do another time, but we both happened to be on at that time. Same thing with my friend in Paraguay, though not as drastic.

Granted! All your online friends move into your house, eat your food, weatch your TV, go to your school, and share a bed with you. Have fun trying to provide for all of them!

I wish there were more classes that applied to my major this semester.

Granted! But then they get boring and you can't switch to your minor. Next time, make them all major, eh?

I wish the science fair was over so I didn't have to have Mom worry about it anymore.

Granted! But your Portal to Mars loses to a baking-soda volcano. Ah, PaF-related irony.

I wish could write poetry as cool as Doof's from the same episode.

Granted! Bad then you get that weird beard he had in said episode. And nobody brings you food. I think I have a hobo therapist you can see!

I wish CW would start another season of "Everybody Hates Chris". It's so sad that it had to end after "Everybody Hates The G.E.D."

But if they did, Vincent Martella is 17 (going on 18), so Greg wouldn't be that nerdy. Unless he does a VERY good job getting in character.

Granted, but since Vincent is so busy with Everybody Hates Chris, he can no longer voice Phineas. Lock your windows because the angry fans are coming after you.

I wish I could draw cool fanart.

Granted! Now everybody who sees it, steals it and claims it as their own. So when you try to claim it officially, the FBI comes to take you away for false claiming. Wow.

I wish I could have a day, any day, very soon where I'm home alone. Nobody here. Just me.

It's been a long time since I had private time and I want a home-alone day so bad! But, nooooooooo! Mom keeps on taking the day off when it's MY day-off. Is she TRYING to kill me?!

Granted you are now all alone on pluto

I wish my iPod did what I wanted it to

Granted! You asked it to make you mayor of the world, so it did. Then you ended up being a terrible mayor, so everybody starts a riot to have you killed. Wow, a "Fairly Odd Parents" twist on things.

I wish Disney Channel aired new PaF episodes before Disney XD.

Seriously, I hate Disney XD cuz almost all my friends have it and they don't watch the new episodes as soon as they come out even though they can, and should!

Granted! But you're schedule was always full and you were too busy to watch it.
(Phew, look at those creative juices flowing!)

I wish I wouldn't keep loosing the numerous phones I have.

It's the weirdest thing. I get a P&F ringtone, and POOF! it's gone.

Granted! Now you have no phones at all.

I wish I had a better Internet card for my laptop.

Mom says it's her laptop, but her brother gave it to me, too!

Granted! Now you have such a strong internet card that you pick up signals from aliens, and when you pick it up, they think you are nosy, so now they want to kill you.

I wish I could relive the Taylor Swift concert.

Granted! You are now stuck in a loop reliving the same concert over & over!

I wish I never started the History Class topic at tv.com.

Granted! Now they get mad at you for not joining and decide to torture you until you join. If you stll refuse, well..

I wish my math teacher would just DIE!

CRAP IT ALL!

Now I wish the substitute would DIE! Seriously, I do. She's awful, too. Sometimes.

I wish all the annoying kids in my class would leave me alone.

Granted! They have placed you in a one-year solitary confinement. Enjoy your white-walled prison!

I wish I had better musical talent.

Oh, wow.

I wish the dip didn't spill all over the blanket! Ugh, now it smells like French Onion.

Granted! The dip didn't spill all over the blanket [But grape juice did!]
I wish you luck getting that stain out!

I wish I could skip to Wednesday, the day after the math test.